nadsoner

Don't drink monster energy drinks.





I suggest that you go here:

http://www.monsterenergy.com/web/guest/contact


and leave a message about how disgusting their aggressive trademarking practices are.

Their product has a lot of substitutes in the market so hopefully if enough people express their disgust and vow to not support their company they'll realize that their shitty product is going to suffer if they continue with the suit.


I know this is a very small and specific example and that America's economic ideology is ridiculously flawed in ways that have been manipulated to be far more devastating but this whole thing disproportionately pisses me off.

Anyway, Monster is part of Hansen Beverage Company (Who knew that the awesome flavored sodas that they sell at TJ's packaged as "natural" could come from these same people?) so I'd suggest boycotting them. Or even if you don't, sending an email telling them that you are. Use the little power that you have as a single consumer and protest this bullshit with your moneysssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

WHAT WAS I DOING A YEAR AGO
Brady had just hooked up with Carolyn Inglis, I got fired from a shitty job that had taken over my life, I was recouping from the shock really. I don't know. It wasn't a good time. I was doing nothing, but what has changed? I'm in Greece. I'm still with him and I don't want to be. That's what’s changed. I wasn't with him but I wanted to be then. I don't know why. I'm not sure which one I'm more miserable doing. I don't want to have the conversation and have him argue with me and try to change my mind and tell me I don't make sense and I'm contradicting myself. He left me. He wanted to find himself and he thought that she would help him but she freaked out and he came back and even though he swears on his life that he missed me all throughout and even if Carolyn had wanted him he would have come back I still after a year have a hard time believing him. I still stalk the on the razzle pictures. Coincidentally some new ones came out today. a year later. Am I still at a job that I hate? That ruins my life that takes too much time. Maybe I was but Ike is being better about hours and I'm standing up for myself and taking the time to figure out exactly what I want and where I'm going which I hadn't before. It was too hard and Brady provided easy solutions. Move in with me next year. Go to Pasadena city college and we'll have an apartment and a cat and a new environment. We'll be together and happy and I was clutching that so tightly that I didn't see what was happening to my immediate future. We never saw each other didn't have time. He was doing theatre tech and I was working and our schedules never meshed. It had been maybe two weeks and while I had been looking forward to the end of On the razzle he was enjoying his life, the one that was happening not the aspirations for next year. I'm inside of my head constantly. It's easy for me to be there and not notice that I'm in bad situations and need to get out. I romanticize my life and it's not good and it's not accurate and it is very unBuddhist. Which is strange because I feel like the whole vipassana experience really fucked me up. I was 17. There's an application process, they state specifically that it's a course for adults, the over 18, I didn't think they'd accept me, and they didn't think I'd show up. the first day after I had registered I heard some administrator comment that "the teenager from San Francisco is here". I thought I could handle it. 10 hours a day sitting in a silent room receiving instruction to look inside of yourself, to feel what your body is telling you, to notice the small pains and let them go, just to notice them. The first part I mastered. The letting them go, the discipline to work through them I never achieved. It all seemed so serious and my excuse in my head was that I was 17, if I did this it would make me not have fun and so I halfassed it and last night I felt like I was going crazy. I was stoned for the first time in 4 months and all of a sudden my body was super sensitive and I could distinctly feel all of the sensations happening at once and I freaked out because I could not let them go. I realized I was always trying to suppress them but never quite extracting and this hum of pain , mental manifesting as physical had been quietly weighing down on my life for the past year. that everything did get harder, that my old problems seemed more real and that I was doing nothing. I haven’t meditated seriously unless I was in immediate physical pain or just needed to get through and unpleasant experience. I used my practiced concentration to escape rather than to stay present and I feel like by doing that I've fucked up my head even more. I should not have done the ten days. If you stay the whole course they congratulate you, like you've passed regardless of how you actually felt, how much work you did. And now I feel like I either need to go back and do another 10 day course, and start living an ethical life or I'll continue to suppress and eventually go insane. I'm addicted which contradicts everything they tell you. If I don't go back I'll go insane but if I do I'll have to surrender myself useless to some powerful force that damaged me in the first place. Why am I so serious about doing nothing. I want to grow up and be young and not look down on others for doing so. When I'm older I want to get married have kids and I can honestly say that I can see myself doing that with him and being fulfilled and happy but not right now. Right now our relationship is shit. It's a phone call once a week and pining. When I'm in sf it'll be a phone call once a day, pining and one visit a month. In a year I could move down to pasadena and live with him and I do want to but for right now, the reality of this moment it's so obvious that I don't want the former. I want to be free, meet new people, not feel guilty about not taking care of his needs and being by my self and having to grow up by myself and learn about myself. I've had a steady stream of boyfriends since fucking 8th grade. I realize now what I was compensating for and I think I'm over my whole dad issue and I haven'; had time to breath and really realize what kind of person I am when I'm alone, singular, just me and no one else because I've become so attached to him these past 2 and a half years. I used to be so smart and eloquent and funny. I had friends who enjoyed my company as something other than ...I don't even know what I am now. I don't know what I am to people anymore. I know what I am to Brady but that's it. And at low points this coming year I'll think to myself "now /i don't even know what I am to him, if someone out there in the world cares about me, who would /i go to, trust to take care of me, I had all of that and I gave it away" and fuck. I'm scared of that. Who wouldn't be. I've had this safety net for so long. Maybe he'll change. More likely he'll find someone new and finally realize that you can love different people in different ways. I don't think he understands that as well as I do. And it's very possible that I'm inside my own head so much that these others I've been in love with never gave me a second thought but I believe existence is completely dependant on your own interpretation that I don't really care either way. I like to be in love because it proves to me that I'm capable of great emotion that permeates all of my senses, that takes me outside of myself by sheer greatness. But I need to know if there are other great emotions out there, other experiences that I've been denying myself. Other people who I wouldn't have time or interest for otherwise. To his credit I do contradict myself, go on and on and don't make sense.

So I'm doing much better. I changed my ticket for the 5th so I have less drudgery to look forward to and more time to assimilate back and make some monay to pay my mom back. I got this thing stating that I'm a Greek citizen today, and tomorrow I'm going to get my ID card and than I have to go to Athens and apply for a passport so I can move to Paris or anywhere in Europe really and work and live and not have to worry abut visas. Yaaaaaay. I'm completely neglecting War and Peace but I'm getting through all of the other books I got rather quickly. I finished every single one of Hemingway's short stories, Madame Bovary, a couple of F.Scott shorts and now I'm working on Tender is th Night which I am absolutely in love with. I started 2 days ago and I'm already 2/3 of the way through. I just have Jane Eyre left but I think it should be plenty. Next week in Athens doing touristy things, visiting the old apartments that I grew up in and hanging out with this lady who was my mom and dad's best friend for years and years. She has a really cool apartment with lots of kitties and she speaks English and she's known me since I was a baby. It's really nice and comforting. I've been getting along better in the village too. My grandma started letting me watch her while she cooks and I've been writing down recipes and doing the olives on alternating days. I saw the family refinery and watched olive oil being extracted from the olives I picked. It was really interesting seeing it all, and later that night my aunts tried to get me drunk with them. I don't know. I'm finally down with the routine. It's boring but there are chores to do and I have a bit more freedom about going out and things. Not by myself but theres this friend of the family whose 16 and they push us on to eachother. Her boyfriend is 27 and it's all a bit disgusting but she can just drop me off at an Internet cafe and go off with him and I can get my shit done. By the way she speaks no english but our relationship is developing fine.

I'm excited to get back and start City. I want to take classes at the new Mission Campus because I abhor the hour and a half 29 ride of death and pushy Chinese ladies every morning plus it's close to my job. Would anyone be down to take a couple of classes with me? It'll be in the mornings, which sucks I know but I don't want to work until 9 every night so it's my only option. It could be fun. I'm hoping that the mission campus will attract a younger crowd so I wont have to deal with the likes of "Tod, with two Ds." Anyway if anyones interested let me know. It's all shiny and new and on Valencia.

All of my logs have been so negative but it hasn't all been terrible. I think that one of the issues was that I gave myself too much time so I felt like there was no end in sight and I missed SF more than I thought I would. But now it's only a couple of weeks away and I'm so excited to come home.

I wanted a change of scenery from me sitting on my bed in the living room so I decided to bring my laptop out into the world. I was going to go to my usual haunt Swedco but Galileo seemed nicer and there was outdoor seating. Well as it turned out nobody knew the WAP key so I couldn't use their wireless and their DSL didn't work so now I'm using on of their PCs in the stuffy back room with a sticky key board and a wet ashes on the desk surrounded by grown men playing WoW and chainsmoking. I should have checked out the situation before I bought a drink but I didn't want to be like those assholes who used to come in to morning due and bitch about the wireless being down when there were 20 other people on laptops that all managed to work then complaining because they bought a $1.50 cup of tea.I need to take a crap.

Wrong move. The bathroom door didn't lock or close for that matter. It's like that episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Also there were no lights in the toilet stall. Like, honestly? Come on.

Anyway some stuff has been happening. I met a boy. My cousin's best friend actually. I asked him if he had any weed and it kind of went from there. He invited me to go to his friend's birthday party so I went and it was such a de ja vu moment. It was like if wiener section in freshman year were transplanted to this random Greek island. For one, it was in a park with a playground. There were random groups of people talking, everyone drinking cheap beer and chain smoking. Half of the girlfriends were wearing flats with long hair and the other half had nose rings and dyed hair. All of the boys skateboarded and tagged. I'm not trying to be offensive and stereotype everyone, but if I'd had my camera I would have taken a long shot and you wouldn't have been able to tell the difference.

So anyway I was chilling with everyone and Clavco and I started talking and he said we were all going to go to a hookah bar later (hah!) but then his parent's called and he had to go home for dinner because he was leaving for college the next day. So he says he'll try and find me later and if he can't to ask Costas (my cousin) for his phone number so I can come visit him in Crete. He's going to be squatting with some anarchists and going to college to become a physicist and he says there's always room and the nature there is amazing.

So later I'm at the house alone and he rings the door bell and it turns out he brought me weed. So we go into my cousins trippy room , light some candles and put on some manu chao roll a spliff. I use the term weed loosely here as it was Albanian and brown. I wanted to take a picture of it it was so hilariously bad. But after not smoking for more than a month it got me pretty stoned. So we were both just sitting there on cushions on the floor chilling and talking about politics and stuff and he tells me about his last girlfriend and how they had broken up less than a week ago and how in love they were and how they wanted to live together but she was going to school in Athens and he was starting in Crete. Sound familiar?And it was nice and it was probably the weed but we really connected and after about an hour of talking he said "I want to move closer to you, can I?" and I said sure so he did and he put his arm around me and our legs were touching and it was nice at first but soon I recoiled because I felt it was too soon. As amazing as it would have felt to just let go an enjoy it I knew that I would regret it and it felt distinctly uncomfortable because of how fresh the breakup was and the fact that I still have strong feelings to Brady and I haven't quite separated us in my mind. And I explained all of that to him and he said he understood completely and layed off a bit and then we got the giggles and just sat there laughing for a while and that eased some of the tension. So we continued to sit and then he pulled out a pretty good line. "I can't only look at you, I want to touch you" and it was so sincere and sweet that of course I relented. so we just snuggled for a bit which felt nice and he started nuzzling me but I stopped him and asked him not to kiss me. And he didn't and was always very respectful of any boundary I put up and whenever he had wanted to be closer he asked permission. Then he showed me this poster her had bought for Costas in Paris, it was one that had noticed in his room before. It was a cartoon little boy with raggedy brown hard and blue eyes carrying a guitar and eating a baguette. "I think it is him, the eyes and the guitar and the dark hair so I buy for him when I was in Paris". Isn't that sweet? You don't get bromance like that in America.
His boat was leaving at 3am and it was already 1:30 so I promised him I'd visit him in Crete and he kissed me on the cheek goodbye and left me with "I think there is something here". awwwwwww

So yea. It was nice. I really want to go visit him in Crete and after that all happened Brady called and I told him all about it and he was really supportive and said "Dude, that sounds awesome go to Crete" and honestly that's what really made my night. The fact that we can be still be supportive of each other and have minimal hard feelings. I know I'm going to marry him one day but right now we have to enjoy the kind of relationship we are dealt. So yes. I'm in a bit of a better place than I have been.

I just really want to go home, get some Vietnamese food then freeze my ass off on top of twin peaks for an hour before going back to Brady's to snuggle with Indiecat and steal from the snack table.

I miss my bicycle. And my bed. And my pants. I didn't bring one pair with me to Rhodes and they sell nothing but bejeweled sweat shorts that defy all logic. I'm contemplating walking 20 minutes to the Starbucks for a chai just for some familiarity. But it's too hot here and I'm lactose intolerant. Oh yea, they don't have soy milk.

Anyone want to send me some and maybe a loaf of sourdough and some dirty sauce?

Uppppdaaate:

Starbucks was closed so I was forced to sate myself by scarfing down a Big Mac and humming "I left my heart in San Francisco" which is a bit ironic because I'd never had a big mac in my life let alone one in San Francisco. It was disgusting. I don't recommend it. If I could stand to do it again I'd film myself eating and trying to make myself cry to the song. However something positive did come out of the experience. I learned that in Greece McDonalds gives you these wee flat little forks with your meal to eat the fries with. It's pretty cute.

8/10
I've turned into one of those people that kills flies and bugs mercilessly. I used to be a capture and release type of person but since the mosquitos feasted for three nights straight I've developed this strange bloodlust for anything smaller than an inch. I haven't killed any actual mosquitos, mainly flies, an ant and a dragon fly(it left the most putrid smell on my hands). The cats look at me like I'm a lunatic. I think they're scared of me now.

Later:
Two dogs and a rooster got in a fight outsied my window. I am Georgia Nicholson in Kiwiagogo land.

I supose it doesnt help that I look severly diseased. The morning after pill fucked wih my hormones so I have "the mask of pregnancy" but I got so tan in 2 days that my concealer doesn't match. Plus the 100 mosquito bites. So I'm sitting here sweating because it's upwards of 90 degrees, mildly twitching because I keep wanting to scratch myself, covered in leaking pustules with a mustache speaking a language that no one else understands. HOT.
I am the village freak.
I need to move into an ugly home in an ugly village where everyone bathes in vinegar and rubs garlic on their feet just like me. I am a salad. An ugly sad little salad.

*vinegar SUPPOSEDLY takes away the sting of bug bites and garlik SUPPOSEDLY keeps them away

What do you really say when a person dies (maybe probably) and they've been a selfish asshole for the months leading up to it. "Andrew Lobo was an amazing and caring soul.....up until last month after he got out of rehab(again) confessed his undying love to me, asked me to marry him but marry Brady first, broke up with Kelly P. (whom he shouldn't have been dating anyway) and started going after all of her friends, plus some Amanda Lydia Rose Featherston Johnson Ellen Isabella chick who apparently also has a boyfriend and who I went on a ranting email to the night before his mom called Kelly, said "Andrew's dead" then hung up"?

It takes a certain kind of person to be addicted to psychedelics.

There. I can say that about him. He also managed to be the most intelligent and yet the most moronic person I know....knew. He got a 10 year full scholarship to UC Berkeley and passed something like 9 AP tests without ever taking the classes. He was loving, to the point that it could be off putting to people that didn't understand. Or rather people that had never been stoned with him. I remember one day late last summer, we went for walk in the park and sat in a grove of trees and watched the sun set over a field. After long conversations about life and his eternal quest for answers I asked him "if this isn't the point, than what could it possibly be" and in that moment I felt a glimmer of hope that I had finally gotten through (even if just for a second) that drugged haze that he'd gotten his self into, using outside stimulants to find himself which ultimately drove him further away. I think the reason that I'm not sad perse about all of this is because in a way, in his mind anyway, this was the easier path. To reach the higher enlightened phase, to be "all one", the ultimate goal in his mind one would think that his body would be too limiting to experience the wonders he believed were out there to experience. Although it seems like a terribly naive view, my belief about death is that you go wherever you imagine heaven to be. Wherever you choose to believe in this life will be your experience in the next. And so to Andrew, my love, I hope you get all the answers you've been searching for. I'm glad to have been a part of your journey.

"When we're born we die, and when we die we're (truly) born."-Andrew Lobo

"4 star rating Martha and Bros Clement

I noticed this joint kinda snuck in to the Inner Richmond after we had blocked a Starbucks from opening just a couple blocks away. Why we need another coffee joint at all (since we have about 1/2 a dozen within a few blocks walking distance) is beyond me. Not only that, but there's a similar joint (Grain D' Oro) just a few doors down.

That being said, the coffee is pretty good. And, they do have cheese danishes that are decent, which is something I like to have occasionally. Also, it's the closest to RCTV HQ, so that's a bonus.

Still, I hadn't really been going here much, preferring to visit my fave spot, Toy Boat. However, I went in today with my Reality Check TV co-host/creator Huge to get a mocha and a danish for myself and my bro. We sat on the comfy leather couch and shot the BS for a while, and were perfectly content, when a former Toy Boat employee (perhaps recognizing me somewhat) brought over a couple iced macchiato (not sure how it's spelled) shots with some whipped cream for us to try, out of the several other people hanging out.

Cool.

Gotta love a little extra something special that comes unsolicited.

So, they get an extra star from yours truly, just for that little random act of kindness. I still love the Toy Boat the mostest, especially since they have a wider variety of stuff to munch (and killer ice cream too), but now I'll probably visit here a bit more often..."




AND THEN THOSE FUCKING CHOLOS FIRED ME. After winning them a fucking customer that will only come back because I was so fucking nice to them. Fuck those bitches. I didn't have to whore myself out like that. I feel fucking ridiculous asking random ass people if they'd like to try a sample of a fucking "mokelada". Good god. If Manuel or Marcella tried to give it to them it'd be more of an "eh, joo want dees?" and the guy would have no fucking clue what was going on. Fuck.